Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
