I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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