life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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