just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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