I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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