you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
