At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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