I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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