cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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