best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
soo... how was my night?
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