Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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