her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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