so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize