We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
