I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
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This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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