Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
