..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
