Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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