Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
