'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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