would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
