I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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