He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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