have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
