She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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