She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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