I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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