I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
