I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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