I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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