i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
