How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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