The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
