tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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