I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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