i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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