I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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