tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
