please come you make the beer taste better
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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