cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
