Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize