He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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