I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
