when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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