He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
