Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
