careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
