she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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