So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this boner is exhausting
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
