What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
