Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
