So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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