you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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