that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
