im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
