I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
