I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
birth control should be required to get into college
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
