I look better un-naked...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
