so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
