well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
