the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
